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I tried internet dating

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Captain
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Posted: #26
Kinda reminds me off Duece Bigalow Your third date would have been a black 6ft 6in tranny
 
Captain
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Posted: #27

Good point Jerry Garcia. Time to stay away.

 

 
Captain
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Posted: #28
Quote Originally Posted by chillery:

Kinda reminds me off Duece Bigalow Your third date would have been a black 6ft 6in tranny

Jabba the person!  She was the funniest of all the dates.  When Duece said "There must be some kind of mistake" and Jabba the person said "STEAK!  Did you say steak?"   That was funny as shit.  I use that line on my wife every time she says 'mistake'.

"Oh, cakes and pies, cakes and pies!"

 
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Posted: #29
Only once paid for any internet dating and it cost $6 ($2 per girl).
Met one girl who was a fucking moose also; felt her breasts up a little and told her I had to go. It would have been really terrible to fuck her!
Next girl I met was totally HOT 9/10 seriously; thong under her skirt; awesome body; unfortunately we got in an arguement (she was a TOTAL bitch anyway and was not going to be able to hit it) and after one drink said see ya; by the way I made her pay for her drink!
Final girl I met was on jdate (which I only signed up free for; never paid); anyway, met a Russian girl => Very hot and sweet 9/10; no b.s.; banged her on 3rd date and am still with her!
 
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Posted: #30
Quote Originally Posted by G8RB8:

I think you should do at least one online date a week, just to report it back to all of us.

I don't know why, but I love these stories



I agree, we want more
 
Prospect
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Posted: #31
It really does seem to be a very mixed bag out there, some you just get chatting to and before you even meet them you can tell that they have serious emotional issues (to say the least!)
 
Only actually met 1 girl over the internet, but we had been emailing and texting each other for a little while and she seemed cool.
 
Of course, since the only photos I got were the usual "face-shot" then I assumed that she would have a few extra pounds but she had a cute face so I decided to meet her anyway.
 
It turned out that "a few extra pounds" was something of an understatement, but I had kinda expected it so it wasn't a huge shock - besides, I was in need of a bit of a slumpbuster at the time so thought what the hell and hit it anyway.
 
She was just as cute in the face as her photo suggested though - one of them girls who would have been fit as fuck, if she wasn't fat as fuck really...
 
MVP
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Posted: #32
I got laid so many times off the net its sickening Met my wife on matchdoctor.com totally 100% free. Major ho market except of course my wife. She isnt major..
 
MVP
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Posted: #33
 
Captain
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Posted: #34
Ok guys, I just booked a third internet date. It will be at a Starbux of Tuesday or Wednesday.
 
Pictures look ok, but tough to tell from the two camera angls.  One thing is a guarantee, she is not fat.
 
 
 
Captain
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Posted: #35
Stay tuned, this could be better than any reality show on TV.
 
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Posted: #36
 shit im about to sign up ...how much are you paying for the dating service?
 
Captain
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Posted: #37
It's free, and so far Ive gotten what I paid for.
 
 
 
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Posted: #38
whats the site
 
Captain
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Posted: #39
plentyoffish.com
 
 
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Posted: #40
oh my bad i didnt see the name of it  in your 1st post...i'll check it out i guess...nothing to lose
 
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Posted: #41
Quote Originally Posted by parsec:

I met my current girlfriend of 3+ years on Match.com but had to sift through a lot of chaff before finding the wheat.  You can get tons of dates on line but quality can never be assured.
 
There was the one chick, who had a cute face, coyly peeking from behind a tree.  When we met for a drink I immediately understood why she was using the big oak for a prop.  That girl was stout.
 
There was one who looked like a young Martha Stewart which was cool because I like young Martha Stewart.  When I met her she was actually wearing men's shoes.  No kidding.  The black wing tips my father used to wear.  They were shined like mirrors but I could not get by that.  I didn't even ask her why she was wearing them because it would have just invited more conversation.
 
One chick was actually quite hot, better looking than her photo suggested.  Turns out she has a drinking problem and was liquored up in a nano-second, richocheting around, throwing herself at other guys and looking back to see what I was going to do. I've been in one bar fight in my life and was not about to have my 2nd over this skank.  I told her if she wanted a lift back to her car she better follow me out right then.  When we got back to her car she bent over and lifted up her skirt, (was not wearing any panties) and said "See what your going to miss!"  She did have a nice ass but that broad was trouble.
 
There was one woman who looked great in her photo but from what decade it was taken I'm not sure.  I'm to meet her at this bar and get there early.  At one point this woman comes in and then just stands by the door.  It's dimly lit so I can't quite see whats down there but have an uneasy forbodeing it's my date.  When I see her, the attractive cosmopoliton hairstyle in the picture has been replaced with unruly and oily strands of tangled hemp or something.  And her cute smile had transformed into bloated cheeks and a half frown. I know should have been angry about her deceitfullness but I actually felt bad because this poor woman looked like she had recently suffered a stroke.  Perhaps even that day.
 
There was one woman who was very attractive and we hit it off.  But the first time I went to her house I mentioned the Harley I saw sitting in her garage and she said it would not be there too much longer as her ex-biker boyfriend was scheduled to me paroled soon.  I'm thinking, all I want to do is meet someone nice but do I have to die in the attempt.  Anyways, I told her I was not comfortable with that situation and might give her a ring down the road.
 
I ended up dating at least once 29 women before finding my current Girlfriend.  It was a grind and a lot of money but you can definitly meet a lot of girls.  Just brace yourself for the odd balls.  They are out there.


  That's one tough broad there.  She must really like the dick.
 
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Posted: #42
pictures man pictures
 
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Posted: #43
Quote Originally Posted by Moose6836:

Just a picture I found!!!Id love to be their sandwich though

They probably talk in baby voices!

 
Captain
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Posted: #44
Quote Originally Posted by parsec:

I met my current girlfriend of 3+ years on Match.com but had to sift through a lot of chaff before finding the wheat.  You can get tons of dates on line but quality can never be assured.
 
There was the one chick, who had a cute face, coyly peeking from behind a tree.  When we met for a drink I immediately understood why she was using the big oak for a prop.  That girl was stout.
 
There was one who looked like a young Martha Stewart which was cool because I like young Martha Stewart.  When I met her she was actually wearing men's shoes.  No kidding.  The black wing tips my father used to wear.  They were shined like mirrors but I could not get by that.  I didn't even ask her why she was wearing them because it would have just invited more conversation.
 
One chick was actually quite hot, better looking than her photo suggested.  Turns out she has a drinking problem and was liquored up in a nano-second, richocheting around, throwing herself at other guys and looking back to see what I was going to do. I've been in one bar fight in my life and was not about to have my 2nd over this skank.  I told her if she wanted a lift back to her car she better follow me out right then.  When we got back to her car she bent over and lifted up her skirt, (was not wearing any panties) and said "See what your going to miss!"  She did have a nice ass but that broad was trouble.
 
There was one woman who looked great in her photo but from what decade it was taken I'm not sure.  I'm to meet her at this bar and get there early.  At one point this woman comes in and then just stands by the door.  It's dimly lit so I can't quite see whats down there but have an uneasy forbodeing it's my date.  When I see her, the attractive cosmopoliton hairstyle in the picture has been replaced with unruly and oily strands of tangled hemp or something.  And her cute smile had transformed into bloated cheeks and a half frown. I know should have been angry about her deceitfullness but I actually felt bad because this poor woman looked like she had recently suffered a stroke.  Perhaps even that day.
 
There was one woman who was very attractive and we hit it off.  But the first time I went to her house I mentioned the Harley I saw sitting in her garage and she said it would not be there too much longer as her ex-biker boyfriend was scheduled to me paroled soon.  I'm thinking, all I want to do is meet someone nice but do I have to die in the attempt.  Anyways, I told her I was not comfortable with that situation and might give her a ring down the road.
 
I ended up dating at least once 29 women before finding my current Girlfriend.  It was a grind and a lot of money but you can definitly meet a lot of girls.  Just brace yourself for the odd balls.  They are out there.

Hands down, the funniest shit I have ever read.

 
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Posted: #45
Quote Originally Posted by parsec:

There was the one chick, who had a cute face, coyly peeking from behind a tree.  When we met for a drink I immediately understood why she was using the big oak for a prop.  That girl was stout.
 
 
Captain
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Posted: #46
I gotten laid twice with these sites, using xxxblackbook.com and fling.com. It is a site for people just looking to fuck really. No dating. One was a married woman and the other was just an outright person. Granted there is alot of nasty ones on the sites, but some good ones that will send some pretty slutty pictures to ya.
 
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Posted: #47
POst a pic of the starbucks date chick
 
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Posted: #48
You should know funny glyde.  Shit, your earlier stuff on whales  was funny too.
 
Parsec:  LMAO
 
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Posted: #49

Quote Originally Posted by ragingstorm:

I got laid so many times off the net its sickening Met my wife on matchdoctor.com totally 100% free. Major ho market except of course my wife. She isnt major..

 

 

Kind of hard to believe that a guy with a bad case of Tourettes like you can get laid so easily.   

I mean your neighbor just wanted to pay you $7500 bucks to move cause you're making too much noise and you say people stare at you like your a freak,  like the guy you beat up in the supermarket,   yet you claim you can box anytime you want off the internet.        

 

I'm I the only one that thinks something doesn't add up here?   

 
 
Hall of Fame
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Posted: #50
Ut umm......
COVERS allows u to tell someone they are sexually frustrated so long as ur hands are clean
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