Addressing a person by their last name.

Question

I take this as a no-no at the work place as it could be taken as a sign of disrespect (unless it&#x27;s within your close buddies in an informal setting).  Last weekend my friend was addressed by his last name by a bartender and he was little ticked off by it.  I told him to chill the f*ck out, it&#x27;s late, it&#x27;s the weekend, nobody gives a ratz @ss about anything, I&#x27;m there to get drunk and watch basketball.  He let it go, but would you go straight to the last name if you didn&#x27;t know the person?  I mean, that seems odd too even if it was at a bar.  Just curious ...

cave0707 · Answer

I take this as a no-no at the work place as it could be taken as a sign of disrespect (unless it&#x27;s within your close buddies in an informal setting).  Last weekend my friend was addressed by his last name by a bartender and he was little ticked off by it.  I told him to chill the f*ck out, it&#x27;s late, it&#x27;s the weekend, nobody gives a ratz @ss about anything, I&#x27;m there to get drunk and watch basketball.  He let it go, but would you go straight to the last name if you didn&#x27;t know the person?  I mean, that seems odd too even if it was at a bar.  Just curious ...

Randisist · Answer

Just curious how the bartender knew your friends last name?Only in Army or when someone went by their last name have I ever called anyone by their last name without a Mr. in front of it.

cave0707 · Answer

Randist, credit card.  He (39 year old geezer) opened up a tab. She (bartender roughly 20 ish) glanced at the card and called him by his last name the entire night.  It seemed a little weird.

Randisist · Answer

Addressing someone by their last name is the way to address a subordinate or a close friend. I agree with your friend. I probably would have corrected her by telling her my first name. Diplomatically...

bill702 · Answer

See I always saw it as a sign of respect to address someone by their last name or be addressed by my last name unless you have a relationship. Not something I would personally get mad at, but your friend was being a douche.  Why would you call your friends by their last name in any setting?

slamspurs · Answer

I call people by their last name all the time at work.

Why? Because they have a common name. Where I work now there are 5 people on my floor who I see on a regular basis that all have the same first name. How else are you going to differentiate?

Did he want the bartender to call him curley or something? If your friend has a common name like Joe or Matt or something, he really shouldn't make a big deal out of it. It's the bartender's way to keep track of all the tabs she has outstanding.

I swear people get so offended these days over the smallest things.

If your friend has a unique last name, maybe the bartender asked him how to pronounce it. After she was told, she kept saying it just so she would remember. It could have been a million things.

wmi799 · Answer

And this  guy may even vote.

mattbrot · Answer

Meh... Much more important things to concern yourself with.  I doubt the bartender meant anything by it, in which case who the F cares...

wmi799 · Answer

&#xD;&#xA;Just idiots

-29- · Answer

If I have an open tab and a bartender asks "What's the name?" I will give my last name 100% of the time. I would never be offended if I were adressed in the same manner.

Did the old geezer ever play sports? If he has he should be used to it, as most coaches routinely call their players by their last name. In my opinion your friend should relax and not worry so much about something that really isn't a BFD.

mattbrot · Answer

[Quote: Originally Posted by -29-]  If I have an open tab and a bartender asks "What&#x27;s the name?" I will give my last name 100% of the time.  I would never be offended if I were adressed in the same manner.&#xD;&#xA; Did the old geezer ever play sports? If he has he should be used to it, as most coaches routinely call their players by their last name. In my opinion your friend should relax and not worry so much about something that really isn&#x27;t a BFD.  [/Quote]Agree on all fronts. In many circles (especially sports) being called by last name is status quo. Either way -- who gives a shi%t?

Randisist · Answer

Ya&#x27;ll can say what you want... But if I am patronizing your establishment we are not instant friends. Excuse me for being old school. When I am serving a customer I address them as Mr. Smith or Mrs. Smith. If the customer and I bond and the customer asks me to address them by thier first name I will do that. Until then respect the fact we are not friends and I am your customer.Everyone has "things" that irritate them. Being addresses by my last name by strangers irritates me. My first name or my last name preceded by Mr. is just fine.Even an idiot should be able to grasp what I am saying...

mattbrot · Answer

not trying to be combative here but --- who gives a sh&amp;it? why does something like that validate your feelings?  At the end of the day -- who cares???

Randisist · Answer

First nobody...Don&#x27;t get the question...Lastly nobody...Point is everybody has something that they don&#x27;t like. This is a personal dislike of mine. Calling me an idiot because I do not like strangers calling me by my last name is... Well I will leave it up to you to find a word for that mentality. I would not "pitch a fit", I would politely ask them to address me in one of two way, first name or Mr. and my last name.

bill702 · Answer

I assumed there was a Mr. in there prior. Yea, if they just used my last name I would find it disrespectful. I wouldn&#x27;t say anything or let it effect my day, but would definitely find it disrespectful under any circumstance.

Randisist · Answer

If it were an ego thing... My first name would not be an option. And my first name would be what I would prefer to be called.

mattbrot · Answer

relax man.  not calling you an idiot. really do not care. just saying that at the end of the day it is not really a big deal.  How many times have you (and I for that matter) addressed a bartender / waiter / waitress etc. by something other than their name? Happens all the time. I would say that in the overwhelmingly majority of the cases there is no mal-intent.

Randisist · Answer

If they continued to call me just by my last name I would roll with the flow and say nothing more. It definitely would not change my mood.

Randisist · Answer

Especially the last sentence.

mattbrot · Answer

word

-29- · Answer

sist

SALTY · Answer

Hey 0707, your friend is a touchy insecure D-Bag.

Nhenley · Answer

A person&#x27;s last name is attached to a person&#x27;s first name, which makes up their full name.. How could anyone get mad when someone call them by their last name, which is part of their full NAME?  I don&#x27;t get it. Would you rather the bartender call your friend an assshole instead?  I think people are way too sensitive about little things.

HutchEmAll · Answer

Kind of reminds me of when I was little playing sports. The coach always called me by my last name so I associate it with an authoritative approach.

It kind of reminds me of the person you don't know who calls you, "buddy." That pisses me off WAY more. I'm not your buddy....why not just say, "excuse me, sir," or something simple like that?

Overall, I'd probably bristle a bit (thinking back to my little league days), but it certainly wouldn't come close to ruining my night.

mattbrot · Answer

last name = alrightbuddy, sport, boss, etc... = not alright

Addressing a person by their last name.

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