Sweden

Just back from a few weeks over there and thought I'd post a bunch of random thoughts regarding the experience.  I have to do something similar as part of a larger piece, so why not kill some time here as well.  I don't recall us having many Swedes on here, but I know we have a couple of Scandanavians. I would be interested in any input they, or anyone else, might have on the topic(s). 

1. Swedes -

A big topic.  By and large, Swedes are nice people.  They are not typically overtly friendly (I must have walked past 1,000 people, and not one said hello or made eye contact), but tend to be pleasant and helpful when engaged. 

Swedes don't show off.  It's almost impossible to pick out the "rich" Swedes in a crowd, and they tend to have homes, cars, boats, clothes, that pretty much look like everyone else's. 

Swedes like living in Sweden, and are proud to be Swedish.  I think there's a underlying sesnse that they feel they've pretty much gotten everything right w/r/t to governance.  I don't think I heard any Swede utter a negative thing about their country (with one exception, to be covered later). 

Swedes are far more likely to be out playing a sport, or biking, hiking, boating, walking, something, than  they are to be home watching a sport. Didn't see a single team jersey or hat from a Swedish club team while I was there.  Did see a lot of Yankees, Phillies and A's hats (A's?!).  I don't know why. 

2. Swedish

The basics of Swedish are ridiculously easy to learn.  They only use about 2,000 words, the verb tenses don't change, and there are a lot of similarites to English. As a result, it's pretty easy to speak passable Swedish, and very easy to learn how to read signs, newspaper caption, and the like.  It is, however, impossible to understand spoken Swedish, so I recommend not ever trying.  Considering there are only nine million Swedes, and 7 million of them probably speak decent English, it's just not worth the effort unless you plan on living there.

Since Slop brought it up....

3. Swedish Women -

The typical Swedish woman is not all that attractive.  However (and this is a big however), the ones who are hot are so preposterously, insanely, I'd-gladly-kill-my-dog-for-five-minutes-with-you hot that it kind of makes up for the rest.  We stayed with my wife's cousin in Uppsala.  He has a daughter who would not only be the prettiest woman (to be) in my little Pittsburgh suburb of 20,000, she would be the prettiest woman ever to set foot in my little Pittsburgh suburb of 20,000.  She's probably the 5th-prettiest girl in her class over there.

4. Drinking in Sweden -

Very complicated.  Lots of "beer" is more like beer-flavored water.  They range in strength, and price, from around 2.2 to around 4.3, and you can get stronger ones in the state-contolled sotres.  None are particularly memorable. 

Drinking out is expensive, and hardly anyone over the age of 25 seems to bother.  At night, bars are the province of kids who tend to drink too much, and poorly.  Lots of sloppy stupidity on display. 

Not driving drunk is practically a religion over there.  The "limit" is .02, which means you might be able to have a beer or glass of wine.  The people we were with didn't drink at all if they were driving - and sometimes not even if they were driving early the next day.  This is no big deal in Stockholm or Malmo, etc, because mass transit is great.  It's a much bigger deal up where we were, as the options were rather limited.

5. Swedish Food -

Generally quite good.  I'm not much for pickled herring (sill), but I'm basically ok with the rest.  The bread is good.  Moose is the best meat I've ever had.  Swedish potatoes are amazing. 

Dining out is to be avoided.  It's usually expensive, often very expensinve, and likely to disappoint.  Lunch is generally a better deal, but I still grabbed most of my meals on the go from the ubiquitous grocery stores that seem to be around every corner. 

Swedes are the most ice cream-mad people perhaps anywhere in the world.  In a major city, you might literally see 50 stands in a two hour walk.  Their soft-serve (mjukglass) is astoundingly good. My son damn near lived on it. 

6. Ice -

Considering the freaking country is covered in it for half the year, you would think getting more than a cube or two for your drink would not be a big deal.  This is one area where the USA has totally gotten it right.  Very few things taste good at room temperature - especially when it's 75 degrees in the room.  Silly. 

7. The Nanny State -

Sweden has laws about everything.  A mile from where we stayed for most of the trip, a farmer had recently lost 24 of his 49 sheep to wolves.  We had to drive by the remaining, nervous flock every day.  It was creepy.  The farmer is not allowed to shoot the wolves.  Neighbors would tattle on him if he did.  My wife's uncle got in trouble for killing a poisonous snake a year ago.  He got tattled on.  It's like a smiling East Germany, with their own private Stasi.  I had a random stranger come and tell me (accurately) that I was illegally idling my car while wating for a parking space.  I thanked him for the information and dutifully turned my car off - until he left.  Dick. 

This was the one time I heard people complain about Sweden.  Indeed, the night I left, there was an act of civil disobience planned among my wife's kin folk. They were going to fish for crayfish in the same place they've fished for them for 350 years, even though some government aparchik had told them the area was off limits this year.  I heard it went by uneventfully, and they pulled about 700 from the water.  I'll bet they get tattled on. 

Well, Scandanavia is big, so keep that in mind.  I would start out in Copenhaggen and then head up to Stockholm.  From there, you can do all sorts of stuff.  You can grab a ferry (the size of an aircraft carrier) to Finland or Estonia, head north into the heart of traditional Sweden, or west to Norway.  While I don't have anything against Oslo (except perhaps what it costs to do anything there), I would be inclined to skip the capital in favor of a place like Bergen, or somewhere in the fjords.  It's also fairly common to be able to get a one-day layover in Iceland on your flight over, so you can knock out another country. 

We spent a lot of time in "summer country cottages" this trip, many of which are much nicer than the ones we went to a decade ago. 

Swedish woman, especially those in and around the capital, can be trouble. I don't know what the typical age of initial sexual activity is, but I gather we're talking 14-15.  I think that can mess with their heads.  For those Swedish girls whose looks fade (some develop quite severe features around 30), they can wind up all fucked-out with nowhere to go.  Got a couple of those in the family. 

Thanks, Kap.  Nice to know someone is listening.  I'll add to this mess tomorrow. 

And, Nut, totally agree on that Dutch girl thing.  You needed a damn box of Kleenex just to make it through a half of one of their Olympic field hockey games - and those are just the freaking field hockey players.