True Story...

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Author: [General Discussion] Topic: True Story...
halofan PM halofan
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Posted: 5/26/2012 3:10:30 PM
My sister went to a hairdressers and said:"Make me look like Barbara Streisand."

So the hairdresser hit her over the nose with a hairbrush.
Messier-11 PM Messier-11
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Posted: 5/26/2012 3:33:52 PM
booooo
TheGoldenGoose PM TheGoldenGoose
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Posted: 5/26/2012 3:39:09 PM

I tell ya, I don't get no respect.

Is that your nose or is it a banana on your face?

I took my wife to the doctor.  She says, "doctor, you gotta help me get this wart off my back"  He made me wait outside.

Oh...
halofan PM halofan
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Posted: 5/26/2012 4:08:42 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


I tell ya, I don't get no respect.

Is that your nose or is it a banana on your face?

I took my wife to the doctor.  She says, "doctor, you gotta help me get this wart off my back"  He made me wait outside.

Oh...


Guy went to a doctor and said: 'Can you get this mole off my dikk'?

The doctor said: 'Yes, but I'll have to inform ASPCA'
Henry-Lilly PM Henry-Lilly
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Posted: 5/26/2012 4:23:10 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose:


I tell ya, I don't get no respect.

Is that your nose or is it a banana on your face?

I took my wife to the doctor.  She says, "doctor, you gotta help me get this wart off my back"  He made me wait outside.

Oh...



I tell ya, I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.
Jelax PM Jelax
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Posted: 5/26/2012 9:13:10 PM
One of worst threads on covers
I_Need_A_Detox PM I_Need_A_Detox
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Posted: 5/26/2012 9:53:43 PM
TheGoldenGoose PM TheGoldenGoose
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Posted: 5/26/2012 10:11:55 PM

I tell ya, I don't get no respect.  No respect at all.

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Ba-Boom.



MoneySRH PM MoneySRH
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Posted: 5/26/2012 10:35:33 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Messier-11:

booooo


Gooooooose
halofan PM halofan
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Posted: 5/27/2012 12:38:38 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Jelax:

One of worst threads on covers


lol yeah, sure, much much worse than all the threads shilling the bad books....
Roonie PM Roonie
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Posted: 5/27/2012 3:02:18 AM
LMAO!! lol!!!!!
Kelly_Slater PM Kelly_Slater
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Posted: 5/27/2012 3:31:03 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Jelax:

One of worst threads on covers






Kelly_Slater PM Kelly_Slater
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Posted: 5/27/2012 3:37:44 AM
halfan  



walktheline23 PM walktheline23
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Posted: 5/27/2012 6:04:34 AM
Love this thread!!
jmw59 PM jmw59
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Posted: 5/27/2012 8:31:36 AM
I-Got-5-On-It PM I-Got-5-On-It
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Posted: 5/27/2012 3:54:49 PM
Rodney Dangerfield
Kelly_Slater PM Kelly_Slater
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Posted: 5/27/2012 4:22:08 PM
Angels sweep that behind today

get the broom

i rarely ever bet baseball but i got me some 

hals -122




TheGoldenGoose PM TheGoldenGoose
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Posted: 5/27/2012 4:29:04 PM


Even with my dog I don't get no respect.

He keeps barking at the front door. He don't want to go out. He wants me to leave.

I tell ya, some dog he is too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.

What a dog I got.. His favorite bone is in my arm!

No respect at all.
Henry-Lilly PM Henry-Lilly
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Posted: 5/27/2012 5:14:45 PM
And boy I tell ya, my wife was fat.  She was so fat that when I hit her with my car she asked why I didn't go around her and I said that I didn't think I had enough gas.
D_Unit PM D_Unit
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Posted: 5/27/2012 5:18:23 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by halofan:

My sister went to a hairdressers and said:"Make me look like Barbara Streisand."

So the hairdresser hit her over the nose with a hairbrush.


                    
The Hawk PM The Hawk
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Posted: 5/27/2012 5:30:31 PM
When I was born, the doctor took one look at me and slapped my Mom
gold6185 PM gold6185
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Posted: 5/27/2012 5:41:38 PM

My wife can't cook at all -I mean toast shouldn't have bones.

Kelly_Slater PM Kelly_Slater
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Posted: 5/27/2012 8:43:53 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by Kelly_Slater:

Angels sweep that behind today

get the broom

i rarely ever bet baseball but i got me some 

hals -122









hal$ win 4 - 2

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