Posted: 11/26/2010 10:04:42 PM
Originally Posted by SALTY
I dont think scal has anymore questions
Ya couldn't leave well enough alone now could ya Salty.
After I've skillfully disproven the farcical claim that a coterie of hot women were coming in and out of your house like a revolving door of middle aged porn stars, ya throw out a final jab like I've gone under a rock and hid somewhere and you've won battle here.
Well once again, you would be wrong.
Now let's get to the events leading up to the alleged 'woody' you've been bragging about.
You claim your house is so overcrowded, you had to settle for the couch. No time of arrival was provided but let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was late Wednesday. So who are these guests staying in your lifelong sleeping quarters? Why are there so many people over? Do your parents put up a 'vacancy' sign outside their house for random travelers looking for a shower and some shut eye? Do they charge for the service like innkeepers? Do you get a cut of the said profits? Are there couples sleeping in your bed? Be it strangers or relatives, do these people 'make whoopee' in your bed? How do you feel about that and how fast do you change the sheets afterwards?
Moreover, where did you get the 1/5th of the Bombay gin you claim put you into an inebriated stupor? Did you travel with an open alcoholic container in your car (illegal) or fly with it (again illegal)? Was it your parents who had the gin on hand? Are they raging alcoholics? Are you going to claim the Bombay gin was an ingredient in the bananas flambe you would be having for desert post-turkey? 4/5ths of bottle of Bombay gin is a bit much for bananas flambe don't you think (or do the Salty's "live dangerously")?
Now onto the 11am wake-up time on Thanksgiving...
You're saying a 5th of a bottle of gin had you sleeping through the following:
1) Everyone waking up and showering
2) General noises associated with TV's on, coming down stairs, minor quarrels, conversations, pots/pans/utensils being banged for the day's food preparation
3) People knocking on doors/taking off their coats/wiping their feet , people who are probably quite loquacious given they usually don't see eachother for some extended period of time (or do they, the attractive middle aged women, come over every weekend for sex romps and menagie a trois'?)
4) These alleged 'woodys' are scientifically proven to happen during REM sleep in which intense dreams occur along with facial twitching. Did anyone see you twitching on the couch with your woody Salty? This is one of the deepest stages of sleep Salty.
Do you expect us to believe all of the above along with the fact your deepest stage of sleep was occurring at 11 am in the morning? What were you dreaming about Salty? Given the only believable thing in this thread is that you are actually your avatar, I hope the dream was of you befriending a plastic surgeon.
Onto the Pats game you mention...
It's 11am and 20 people are there (of whose arrival you slept through) and 5 or 6 are getting ready to watch the Pats/Lions game in the same room where you are taking up the couch with your oversized McRib/McDLT/McNugget fed body.
Those are some dedicated fans Salty! Milling around someone else's living room an hour and a half before kick-off! What exactly did they do for an hour and a half? Admire the sheetrock your father skillfully inlaid or the pictures of your playing with the garbage in your diaper?
Now it just so happens you're on your back with no covers and a boner that was 'reaching for the sky' when you wake up. How convenient a sleeping posture for your story to come together and for you to create a thread about your alleged gigantic manhood!
All the while, not a soul, man woman or child, is disturbed by the slumbering drunk manbeast on the sofa with an erection, and all are content to stand there watching Al Roker and Ryan Seacrest MC the Thanksgiving Day parade, right Salty?
Then you laid there until the erection went away. Did Ryan Seacrest's voice inspire or dull the erection? You tell me.
All this is what you'd have us believe with your original post?
Let's hear it. Or can we just agree to call bullshit on this thread and call it a fabricated Thanksgiving Day...
You're covers credibility is on the line here Salty...the little I haven't smashed to smithereens...