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Author: [General Discussion] Topic: Pitching a tent with the family for the holidays.
SALTY send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: Mirage |
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#1
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:00:24 PM
I traveled home like many do during the holidays to my moms house for Thanksgiving. Our house is overloaded and my bed is the couch while I am staying here. I wake up on Thanksgiving day around 11am after knocking out most of a 1/5 of Bombay gin the night before.
 
The house had about 20 people spread out with about 5-6 people wathing TV getting ready for the New England game in the living room where Im crashed on the couch.
 
I wake up with no covers laying on my back with a boner of the year Who knows how long it was reaching for the sky?
 
So after realizing the situation all I could do was turn over but not fully like I had a kickstand keeping me from falling over
 
I was also wearing baggy basketball shorts so Im sure my rod could be spotted from a mile away. I layed there till it went away and got up like nothing happened... And of course no one called me out on it but im sure it was no secret.
 
I mean its not like Im a young lad, Im 31 and it happens from time to time but why now
 
The only thing good I could say about this was there were a couple of friends of the family that were good looking women that were there that hopefully got an eyefull on what Im working with. We are going out with a group later for drinks and  a couple of those women will be there
 
Nothing like random boners out in the open in a crowded house
 
Happy Holidays
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scalabrine send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook |
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#2
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:14:55 PM
let's just clarify...were the good looking women friends or family because this thread creepiness factor is about to skyrocket...

So you woke up on Thanksgiving day in mesh shorts with a hangover and a boner on your couch while guests were arriving?

Somebody dust of the Son of The Year Award for this guy...
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SALTY send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: Mirage |
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#3
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:19:02 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by scalabrine:

let's just clarify...were the good looking women friends or family because this thread creepiness factor is about to skyrocket...

So you woke up on Thanksgiving day in mesh shorts with a hangover and a boner on your couch while guests were arriving?

Somebody dust of the Son of The Year Award for this guy...

The women I refered to were FRIENDS of the family!

I know I am from Arkansas but not everyone bangs their sister here

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#4
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:20:55 PM
Since when do young women who are 'friends of the family' come over for Thanksgiving? 

Who are these friends and why aren't they with their own family that day?

Are you gonna try to sell me they were "hot orphan chicks"?
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#5
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:26:33 PM

Well Mr. nosey to know we have friends that stop by for a visit then they go on to the next function. A few people stayed for less than a couple hours then they moved on.

But one thing was for sure they didnt need a couple of hours to catch the boner show

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#6
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:28:03 PM

And their age range is mid 30's to early 40's by the way.

Older women are my favorite

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#7
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:32:17 PM
Hot women stop by your house and then 'move along'? 

How many houses do they stop at and how long do they stay at each house?

They arrived at the perfect time interval and stayed long enough at your house to witness you in drunken slumber with a broomstick handle in your hand? 

You sure your contact lenses weren't fogged up and it was actually your Aunt Gertrude who witnessed this boner of yours (longingly) as opposed to some imagined hot chick? 
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#8
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:33:32 PM

I love your vivid imagination my friend!!!

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#9
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:36:12 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by SALTY:

And their age range is mid 30's to early 40's by the way.

Older women are my favorite


So a bunch of 30/40 somethings are going house to house on Thanksgiving...

Are they in costume? Is this like Trick-Or-Treating?

Are they all just friends or are they all related?...

I gotta look for this 'troop' of women around my neighborhood just going door to door like Jehova's witnesses handing out pamphlets...all on a major familial holiday...

This is just like a traveling circus! Are some of these women bearded? 
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#10
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:37:20 PM

Scal I know it might be hard to believe that attractive women would be friends with my older sister who is also in town and stop by to visit

And aunt Gertrude is blind so she was the only one im sure that did not see the show.

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#11
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:53:02 PM
they say it pays to advertise so GL in your pursuit
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#12
Posted: 11/26/2010 3:55:06 PM

I am laughing histerically at this argument....who the darn starts an argument about stuff like this?!?! C'MON MAN!!!!

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#13
Posted: 11/26/2010 4:00:07 PM

CSI Scalabrine

Interrogate away!

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#14
Posted: 11/26/2010 4:59:56 PM
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#15
Posted: 11/26/2010 5:27:07 PM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by ShootDaClubUp:

And in comes Shootdaclubup, as always, with his usual intellectual insight...

Thanks jackass

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#16
Posted: 11/26/2010 6:02:28 PM
Soon Scabrini will accuse him of being Black because his boner was huge
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SALTY send a private message View Space | Blog | Friends | Playbook | My Sportsbook: Mirage |
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#17
Posted: 11/26/2010 6:05:44 PM
I dont think scal has anymore questions
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#18
Posted: 11/26/2010 6:34:11 PM
THis thread is hilarious and I actually give SCAL a few props for his questions
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#19
Posted: 11/26/2010 8:17:12 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by kickinA:

CSI Scalabrine

Interrogate away!

  We can't handle the truth!
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#20
Posted: 11/26/2010 8:45:18 PM
dud you start the freaking stupidest threads.
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#21
Posted: 11/26/2010 9:06:05 PM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by John_Drama:

dud you start the freaking stupidest threads.

 

 

you mean FUNNIEST!

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#22
Posted: 11/26/2010 10:04:42 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by SALTY:

I dont think scal has anymore questions

Ya couldn't leave well enough alone now could ya Salty.

After I've skillfully disproven the farcical claim that a coterie of hot women were coming in and out of your house like a revolving door of middle aged porn stars, ya throw out a final jab like I've gone under a rock and hid somewhere and you've won battle here.

Well once again, you would be wrong.

Now let's get to the events leading up to the alleged 'woody' you've been bragging about.

You claim your house is so overcrowded, you had to settle for the couch. No time of arrival was provided but let's give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was late Wednesday. So who are these guests staying in your lifelong sleeping quarters? Why are there so many people over? Do your parents put up a 'vacancy' sign outside their house for random travelers looking for a shower and some shut eye? Do they charge for the service like innkeepers? Do you get a cut of the said profits? Are there couples sleeping in your bed? Be it strangers or relatives, do these people 'make whoopee' in your bed? How do you feel about that and how fast do you change the sheets afterwards? 

Moreover, where did you get the 1/5th of the Bombay gin you claim put you into an inebriated stupor? Did you travel with an open alcoholic container in your car (illegal) or fly with it (again illegal)? Was it your parents who had the gin on hand? Are they raging alcoholics? Are you going to claim the Bombay gin was an ingredient in the bananas flambe you would be having for desert post-turkey? 4/5ths of bottle of Bombay gin is a bit much for bananas flambe don't you think (or do the Salty's "live dangerously")?

Now onto the 11am wake-up time on Thanksgiving...

You're saying a 5th of a bottle of gin had you sleeping through the following:

1) Everyone waking up and showering

2) General noises associated with TV's on, coming down stairs, minor quarrels, conversations, pots/pans/utensils being banged for the day's food preparation

3) People knocking on doors/taking off their coats/wiping their feet , people who are probably quite loquacious given they usually don't see eachother for some extended period of time (or do they, the attractive middle aged women, come over every weekend for sex romps and menagie a trois'?)

4) These alleged 'woodys' are scientifically proven to happen during REM sleep in which intense dreams occur along with facial twitching. Did anyone see you twitching on the couch with your woody Salty? This is one of the deepest stages of sleep Salty.

Do you expect us to believe all of the above along with the fact your deepest stage of sleep was occurring at 11 am in the morning? What were you dreaming about Salty? Given the only believable thing in this thread is that you are actually your avatar, I hope the dream was of you befriending a plastic surgeon.

Onto the Pats game you mention...

It's 11am and 20 people are there (of whose arrival you slept through) and 5 or 6 are getting ready to watch the Pats/Lions game in the same room where you are taking up the couch with your oversized McRib/McDLT/McNugget fed body. 

Those are some dedicated fans Salty! Milling around someone else's living room an hour and a half before kick-off! What exactly did they do for an hour and a half? Admire the sheetrock your father skillfully inlaid or the pictures of your playing with the garbage in your diaper? 

Now it just so happens you're on your back with no covers and a boner that was 'reaching for the sky' when you wake up. How convenient a sleeping posture for your story to come together and for you to create a thread about your alleged gigantic manhood! 

All the while, not a soul, man woman or child, is disturbed by the slumbering drunk manbeast on the sofa with an erection, and all are content to stand there watching Al Roker and Ryan Seacrest MC the Thanksgiving Day parade, right Salty? 

Then you laid there until the erection went away. Did Ryan Seacrest's voice inspire or dull the erection? You tell me. 

All this is what you'd have us believe with your original post?

Let's hear it. Or can we just agree to call bullshit on this thread and call it a fabricated Thanksgiving Day...

You're covers credibility is on the line here Salty...the little I haven't smashed to smithereens... 
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#23
Posted: 11/26/2010 10:15:35 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by scalabrine:

Hot women stop by your house and then 'move along'? 

How many houses do they stop at and how long do they stay at each house?

They arrived at the perfect time interval and stayed long enough at your house to witness you in drunken slumber with a broomstick handle in your hand? 

You sure your contact lenses weren't fogged up and it was actually your Aunt Gertrude who witnessed this boner of yours (longingly) as opposed to some imagined hot chick? 



aunt gertrude!!! 
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#24
Posted: 11/26/2010 10:22:34 PM
keep this going, it could be be headed for the archives!
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#25
Posted: 11/26/2010 10:34:12 PM

"It's 11am and 20 people are there (of whose arrival you slept through) and 5 or 6 are getting ready to watch the Pats/Lions game in the same room where you are taking up the couch with your oversized McRib/McDLT/McNugget fed body. 


Those are some dedicated fans Salty! Milling around someone else's living room an hour and a half before kick-off! What exactly did they do for an hour and a half? Admire the sheetrock your father skillfully inlaid or the pictures of your playing with the garbage in your diaper? "
 
Not sure if this took place in Arkansas or not.  However if it did, it wouldn't take a Rhode Scholar to realize that central time of 11am meant 12noon on the east coast, thus not an hour and half before game time. Now usually, I would never bring to attention something like this on someone as its an easy mistake to make.  However, when some chicken focker wants to make somebody else's thread about himself, he should at least consider an elementary friggin time zone before calling out someone else.
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