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[General Discussion] Topic: JOKE TIME....post yours here!!!! |
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thenatural74 |
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#1 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:05:18 PM JOKE #1
A guy walks into a restaurant, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he'd like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.
"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"
"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."
JOKE #2
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After lying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says "seven points."
His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?"
The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing."
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie, score."
After about ten minutes later the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown I'm ahead 14 to 7."
Now starting to get into this the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown, tie score." The old man strains really hard but, to no avail he can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and strains real hard to get out just one more.
Straining, the old man tries so hard he poops in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"
The old man replies, "Half-time, switch sides."
JOKE #3
There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral." |
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kittsd |
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#2 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:08:11 PM  |
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JeffLebowski |
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#3 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:09:14 PM
Q: Why don't Barbie and Ken have any kids?
A: Because Ken "comes" in a different box |
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SimonSezSo |
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#4 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:11:57 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by kittsd:
DITTO#74 |
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jp548 |
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#5 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:12:17 PM Why did Cinderella get thrown out of DisneyLand?
She got caught sitiing on Pinnochio's nose saying "Lie to me Lie to me"
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laythepoints |
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#6 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:13:08 PM What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing...you done told her twice... |
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AtlFader |
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#7 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:13:29 PM |
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laythepoints |
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#8 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:14:38 PM |
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AtlFader |
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#9 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:15:12 PM |
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jhorton |
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#10 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:16:14 PM |
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Dowen |
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#11 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:16:37 PM saw this on a bathroom wall...
"I fkd your mother!"
...below it...
"dad, your drunk go home" |
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thenatural74 |
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#12 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:17:53 PM Jeff....lol! 
Q: What's the difference between the Buffalo Bills and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
Q: Why is the Oakland football team like a possum?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.
Q: What do Billy Graham and the Buffalo football team have in common?
A: They can both make a stadium of 50,000 people say "Oh, Jesus."
The L.A. Rams have a new line of cologne. It's a little different though; you wear it and the other guy scores.
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elmatador |
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#13 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:19:08 PM Why do jewish people what pornnos on rewhind????
SO they can see the hooker give the money back....... |
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AtlFader |
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#14 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:19:48 PM Is it true what they say about a diploma from Tennessee?
what do they say?
They say that if you put your Tennessee diploma in rear window; you qualify for handicapped parking. |
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elmatador |
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#15 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:19:57 PM what= watch ,sorry about the typo |
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laythepoints |
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#16 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:20:55 PM Dedicated to "Tom Cable"
What do all the women at the "battered women shelter" have in common?
THEY DON'T F**KING LISTEN |
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MrOmega |
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#17 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:21:13 PM What do u call two mexicans playing basketball?
juan on juan |
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liontri |
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#18 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:22:48 PM
"Before leaving, would you like a smoke?"
"Yes, that would be great." replied the man.
So unzipped one of the compartment on her wet suit and pull out a cigarrett and lighter.
While smoking, she asked, "Would you like some liquor?"
Again, she unzipped another compartment and pulled out a pint of Jack Daniel.
She then asked in a sultry voice, "Would you like to play around."
While unzipping her wet suit, the man replied, "Oh god, don't tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there too?"
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thenatural74 |
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#19 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:22:54 PM |
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Boom_Boom |
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#20 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:23:45 PM
And went Straight to Hell....
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Boom_Boom |
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#21 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:24:28 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by MrOmega: What do u call two mexicans playing basketball?
juan on juan |
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cubboy |
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#22 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:32:48 PM  kid comes home from , has to do a report on the difference between reality and theory , he asked his dad to help.so his dad says ok go upstairs and ask your mom would she get naked for a bunch of men for a million bucks..comes back down she said yes dad..ok now go up there and ask your sister if she would sleep with the football team at her high school for a million,he comes back down and said she said yes dad...his dad says ok now go up there and ask your brother would he suck his buddies cock for a million, kid comes back down shaking his head and says he said yes dad that a million is alot of money,his dad says there you go son,in theory we have 3 million bucks,but in reality we have 2 sluts and a cock sucker upstairs... |
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cubboy |
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#23 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:33:28 PM  from school ..sorry guys |
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NONEED4LUCK |
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#24 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:39:32 PM Why does Nebraska have an N on their Helmet?
Nowledge
Why did Nebraska have astro turf in their stadium?
so the cheerleaders wouldn't graze at halftime.
only college footies I know |
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JTMAYO |
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#25 Posted: 11/5/2009 7:45:46 PM |
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