As Vegas slowly gathers herself, a lot of people are hammering the Yankees runline as Philly is an autofade for the rest of the season. I guess the strip has no choice but to shut down all water shows near the Caesar's Palace in efforts to pay every gambler this evening. The holes have finally been covered near the aft sections of the Treasure Island ships and shows will resume. Arthur, who is attempting his best Jack Sparrow impersonation, accidentally kicks the block of wood covering the hole. This causes the ship to sink as spectators watch in horror, as none of the actors have completed level four in swimming therefore cannot tread water. A headboard technician named Shane nearby happens to also have his lifeguard certification. In his kindhearted attempt, he throws a floatation device so that the actors can swim safely to shore.
SHANE: Will I be compensated for my lifeguard duties? I mean...I did save seventeen lives...
VEGAS OFFICIALS: No.
Meanwhile in Philadelphia, many families are visiting the Hall of Independence during the game. It is clear that the tour guides are getting very agitated with the Phillies lack of recent success.
TOURIST: So what was the purpose of this bell?
TOUR GUIDE: To ring.
TOURIST: I know, but what's the history behin--
TOUR GUIDE: To ring. To make noise! like you are right now! No more questions please (his face turns red and he grits his teeth as he checks the score on his ESPN app of his Iphone 2)
Hector becomes curious, as they have not received a synopsis regarding the site of tourism. He then proceeds to jump onto the bell, hanging on it by the crack and swinging back and forth resembling a younger, uglier version of Quasimodo. He swings so hard that the bell drops and cracks in four other areas. Hector walks away with a bruised rib, but his parents are asked to pay for the replacement of the bell totalling to an amount of $27.58 (Pennsylvania taxes included).
Just two hours northeast, it is a different story. New Yorkers are violently waving their Yankees towels as Michael Pineda is on the verge of a perfect game. Even Madison Square Garden is rocking as Alicia Keys is performing and prancing around the stage gracefully like a gazelle that has yet to be devoured in the savannahs of Angola. Laqueefa is bouncing to the music when her braids fly off and liter the lower bowl of the building. "Dat Hairdo done costed me my last paycheck!" she yells in agony, but nobody cares because everyone had the Yankees runline today.
As Vegas slowly gathers herself, a lot of people are hammering the Yankees runline as Philly is an autofade for the rest of the season. I guess the strip has no choice but to shut down all water shows near the Caesar's Palace in efforts to pay every gambler this evening. The holes have finally been covered near the aft sections of the Treasure Island ships and shows will resume. Arthur, who is attempting his best Jack Sparrow impersonation, accidentally kicks the block of wood covering the hole. This causes the ship to sink as spectators watch in horror, as none of the actors have completed level four in swimming therefore cannot tread water. A headboard technician named Shane nearby happens to also have his lifeguard certification. In his kindhearted attempt, he throws a floatation device so that the actors can swim safely to shore.
SHANE: Will I be compensated for my lifeguard duties? I mean...I did save seventeen lives...
VEGAS OFFICIALS: No.
Meanwhile in Philadelphia, many families are visiting the Hall of Independence during the game. It is clear that the tour guides are getting very agitated with the Phillies lack of recent success.
TOURIST: So what was the purpose of this bell?
TOUR GUIDE: To ring.
TOURIST: I know, but what's the history behin--
TOUR GUIDE: To ring. To make noise! like you are right now! No more questions please (his face turns red and he grits his teeth as he checks the score on his ESPN app of his Iphone 2)
Hector becomes curious, as they have not received a synopsis regarding the site of tourism. He then proceeds to jump onto the bell, hanging on it by the crack and swinging back and forth resembling a younger, uglier version of Quasimodo. He swings so hard that the bell drops and cracks in four other areas. Hector walks away with a bruised rib, but his parents are asked to pay for the replacement of the bell totalling to an amount of $27.58 (Pennsylvania taxes included).
Just two hours northeast, it is a different story. New Yorkers are violently waving their Yankees towels as Michael Pineda is on the verge of a perfect game. Even Madison Square Garden is rocking as Alicia Keys is performing and prancing around the stage gracefully like a gazelle that has yet to be devoured in the savannahs of Angola. Laqueefa is bouncing to the music when her braids fly off and liter the lower bowl of the building. "Dat Hairdo done costed me my last paycheck!" she yells in agony, but nobody cares because everyone had the Yankees runline today.
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