Posted: 4/9/2012 11:57:08 AM
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Obama,
I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how pleased and delighted I am with the wonderful “transformation” of the country that you have worked so diligently and tirelessly to implement.
As our first racially transcendent president, I’m quite sure your initial “typical white person” comment was unintentional and taken way out of context. At first, I resented being “painted by a wide brush” with such a racially insensitive comment, but soon realized that your good points far outweigh any “Freudian” slips that might innocuously be uttered.
I really appreciate your masterful soothing of class tensions between those who’ve succeeded through risk and hard work, and those who might not be so industrious.
I would also like to compliment your efforts at gun confiscation. That little thing with the cartels was no big deal. Anyone can make a mistake. God knows, nobody’s perfect. With so many unenlightened folks clinging to their religion and guns, it’s no wonder we don’t have complete anarchy!
Given the current unfortunate situation, would it be OK if I held on to a couple of mine, just in case?
And that little 20 year thing at the good Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s congregation, well think nothing of it. I’m sure those “God Damm America” quotes were just misunderstood. That Rev. Wright, what an excitable guy! I’d be honored to have him as my mentor.
Really happy with the way you’ve handled the newly formed Tea Party. Those folks who want a smaller government, lower taxes, and liberty for all just don’t get that we’re entitled to a prosperous and undemanding existence, well, just because. And don’t let them fool you with their support of the self-made man Herman Cain or the indomitable colonel Alan West. We can see through that ruse!
I was wondering if you could ask Mr. Holder to talk to the Black Panthers. I’m not sure, but I think he might have a couple of friends from Philly who can get him some time with the upper echelon. This talk about a race war. Those Panthers, I’ll tell ya. Just a little tax-payer funded diversity and sensitivity training I’m sure would soothe this over.
Mrs. O, I can certainly see where your finally proud of your country. I know I am!.
Well, I’ve taken up enough of your time, and I’m running late for my ACORN meeting.
You can count on my continued and fervid support in November.
Covers member and contributor.