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[The Archives] Topic: I'm About to Have Sex for the first time... I have some questions |
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CelticPride242 |
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#51 Posted: 12/23/2007 12:24:16 PM  |
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asloper6001 |
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#52 Posted: 12/23/2007 12:35:08 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by CelticPride242: 1 virgin, 1 girl and a cup.
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MENACE |
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#53 Posted: 12/23/2007 1:34:27 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by uscsom09: This thread should also immediately be moved into the archives
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Odomisinthemob |
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#54 Posted: 12/23/2007 1:56:12 PM
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gus1689 |
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#55 Posted: 12/23/2007 2:04:46 PM god I hope he rubbed one out beforehand  |
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montedamastiff |
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#56 Posted: 12/23/2007 2:18:36 PM I'm surprised at everyone here. Giving this kid advice like this and not telling him a really good move. Listen kid everyone in here thinks he is a comedian. Just take her some place very romantic. It is not common knowledge but you should have a meal with some grease in it. It helps with the love making and in Asian cultures it is quite common. Get a bottle of wine and get her and yourself comfortable. Put on some soft music. Not Beyonce, that joke is getting old. Get a nice wine, not those cheap wine coolers. Another old joke but these inmature Covers posters. Start with some long sensual kissing. Don't rush foreplay. These animals in this forum are laughing but screw them this is a special time for you. Do it the right way. During foreplay often tell her how special this night will be. I say at least 30 minutes of foreplay is needed. Stroke her young supple breasts with your tongue. Once again tell her, how important this night is for the both of you. The most importamt advice is that a womens clitoris, is her most sensitive area. It is her love button. You will not get that advice from these jerks in this forum. After at least 30 minutes of foreplay. Lay her down gently on her back. Tell her to relax. Very slowly squat over her young firm breasts. Take a deep breath and slowly relieve your bowels on her chest. The greasy meal will help at this point. Have her press the brown greasy mess together with her fun bags. This will form a chilli like substance. Climb on top of her and place your penis in this mess. Pump your manhood up and down in this mess. Like a slip n slide. You will enjoy the warm sensation. Ejaculate all over her face and call it a night. That will make it special.  |
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STLCard |
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#57 Posted: 12/23/2007 2:38:17 PM |
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ilsp2003 |
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#58 Posted: 12/23/2007 2:58:28 PM
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ad1260 |
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#59 Posted: 12/23/2007 4:20:22 PM |
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andarmac99 |
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#60 Posted: 12/23/2007 5:34:18 PM |
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lineguesser |
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#61 Posted: 12/23/2007 6:17:28 PM 
this just keeps getting better
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InternetTuffGuy |
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#62 Posted: 12/23/2007 6:58:00 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by montedamastiff: I'm surprised at everyone here. Giving this kid advice like this and not telling him a really good move. Listen kid everyone in here thinks he is a comedian. Just take her some place very romantic. It is not common knowledge but you should have a meal with some grease in it. It helps with the love making and in Asian cultures it is quite common. Get a bottle of wine and get her and yourself comfortable. Put on some soft music. Not Beyonce, that joke is getting old. Get a nice wine, not those cheap wine coolers. Another old joke but these inmature Covers posters. Start with some long sensual kissing. Don't rush foreplay. These animals in this forum are laughing but screw them this is a special time for you. Do it the right way. During foreplay often tell her how special this night will be. I say at least 30 minutes of foreplay is needed. Stroke her young supple breasts with your tongue. Once again tell her, how important this night is for the both of you. The most importamt advice is that a womens clitoris, is her most sensitive area. It is her love button. You will not get that advice from these jerks in this forum. After at least 30 minutes of foreplay. Lay her down gently on her back. Tell her to relax. Very slowly squat over her young firm breasts. Take a deep breath and slowly relieve your bowels on her chest. The greasy meal will help at this point. Have her press the brown greasy mess together with her fun bags. This will form a chilli like substance. Climb on top of her and place your penis in this mess. Pump your manhood up and down in this mess. Like a slip n slide. You will enjoy the warm sensation. Ejaculate all over her face and call it a night. That will make it special.
 For shame Monte
How could you forget to tell the kid to purchase a delightful Taco Bell combo so he can release his bowels on her chest faster...i thought i knew you
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GGLeaf055 |
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#63 Posted: 12/23/2007 8:17:55 PM |
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STLCard |
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#64 Posted: 12/23/2007 8:35:58 PM
Okay, first what you looking for is a woman primary, but secondary it could be a woman
and her man, but the man will have to remain behind the black curtain
and only watch through the cut out eyeholes. The black curtain is
inside the apartment that you reside in. What you require
foremost in a woman with bushy eyebrows. And there must be TWO eyebrows,
because one eyebrow is an abonination against Gaia. What you need is for
the woman to become naked and pose herself before me.You should have a carpeted
pedestal so her feet will not grow cold. You will present her with a very
well preserved Mesopotamian bowl. She will hold it and she must be
careful not to drop it as it has to be back at the museum by 8am
tomorrow. Next you will hand her tweezers. Then she
will pluck her eyebrows until her forehead is vacant. The eyebrows will
drift into the bowl and then you will take the bowl from her and go to my
kitchenette. You will then toss a salad into the bowl and mix the
eyebrows in it. The woman can decide the dressing, but should only limit it to
vinegrette and thousand island. Next you will re-present the bowl to the
woman, along with a utensil, and she will then consume the salad while you watch. You may masturbate during this part of the exercise. However, if
there is a man behind the black curtain he may not masturbate, and you
will know if does because you will hear him. However, he is allowed to
fantasize, and then he write an essay on his fantasies before you release
him. After the woman is finished with her salad, you will present her
with a Qing dynasty teapot box, which she will open and deficate in.
She must be careful with the box as well as it is also from the mueseum
and it must be returned or there will be trouble. When she is finished
she will return it to you, and you then will bid her good-evening. That
is all. You should ask for a photo, eyebrows only, first.
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Helmut |
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#65 Posted: 12/23/2007 9:14:35 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by ChrisBosh: D. After it's over... what did you/should I do
Turn on ESPN and check status of your wagers
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DaltonMichaels |
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#66 Posted: 12/23/2007 9:29:20 PM |
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jthollywood |
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#67 Posted: 12/23/2007 9:41:16 PM |
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unotlikeme |
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#68 Posted: 12/23/2007 10:19:04 PM Make sure you tell her it was the best you've ever had  |
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ChrisBosh |
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#69 Posted: 12/23/2007 10:57:25 PM *****Update - I JUST got back from her house****
Firstly let me thank the members who actually took this question seriousely, it was not exactly easy admiting personal stuff like that. Secondly to the posters who called me a person for not having sex with her earlier - read the my OP, i had done basically everything there was to do but sex.
Onto the Details,
Firstly I woke up around 9 this morning and immediately rubbed one out. I called her at around 1 and asked her if her parents where home today - which she replied no they werent. Strangely, starting this thread kind of calmed my nerves a little bit. I knew today was gonna be the day. I rubbed another one out at around 1:30 and got my behind over there at 2.
We bullshit for a bit and watch Superbad (which is insanely funny btw) and then I make my move. (I also forget to mention she IS on birth control) I can't lie though I was getting nervous as hell. I start by eating her out for about 10 mintues and move in to kiss her. While were making out I just decide to go for out and slip it in.
WOW! Obviousely it's a feeling i have never felt before. It's extremely warm and very very wet. Literally 10 seconds in I'm already trying to hold it in but it just feels so good. I'm just slowly going in out - nothing crazy but definately the greatest feeling in the world.
I ask her if I can juice inside her but she tells me to pull out when I'm ready. After 30 more seconds I just cant hold it in any longer and pull out. So much for wacking off twice before. Anyway - Did I mention i am NO longer a virgin! Defintaly a huge confidence booster.
Anyway I dont even know if she enjoyed it or not. She was kind of moaning but she was louder when i was eating her out. It was a huge releif though but I definately get that feeling of wanting to do it again. When i finished i just spooned with her for like 10 mintues and we decided to go eat.
Most memorable day of my life. Already called up 2 buddies of mine to share. Seeing as how this thread strangely calmed my nerves, ill share it with the board. |
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jthollywood |
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#70 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:03:31 PM |
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picc818 |
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#71 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:11:11 PM congrats. keeps getting better with practice. so get back out there.
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searchwarrant |
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#72 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:26:49 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by montedamastiff:
I'm surprised at everyone here. Giving this kid advice like this and not telling him a really good move. Listen kid everyone in here thinks he is a comedian. Just take her some place very romantic. It is not common knowledge but you should have a meal with some grease in it. It helps with the love making and in Asian cultures it is quite common. Get a bottle of wine and get her and yourself comfortable. Put on some soft music. Not Beyonce, that joke is getting old. Get a nice wine, not those cheap wine coolers. Another old joke but these inmature Covers posters. Start with some long sensual kissing. Don't rush foreplay. These animals in this forum are laughing but screw them this is a special time for you. Do it the right way. During foreplay often tell her how special this night will be. I say at least 30 minutes of foreplay is needed. Stroke her young supple breasts with your tongue. Once again tell her, how important this night is for the both of you. The most importamt advice is that a womens clitoris, is her most sensitive area. It is her love button. You will not get that advice from these jerks in this forum. After at least 30 minutes of foreplay. Lay her down gently on her back. Tell her to relax. Very slowly squat over her young firm breasts. Take a deep breath and slowly relieve your bowels on her chest. The greasy meal will help at this point. Have her press the brown greasy mess together with her fun bags. This will form a chilli like substance. Climb on top of her and place your penis in this mess. Pump your manhood up and down in this mess. Like a slip n slide. You will enjoy the warm sensation. Ejaculate all over her face and call it a night. That will make it special.
...Monte absolutely crushed the field with this post.......cryin ove here. |
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thegambler711 |
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#73 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:32:18 PM QUOTE Originally Posted by thegambler711:
I'll take under 20 seconds -110 for the max
Are you sure it was over 20 seconds? 40 sec,I call bullshit on this Chris Bosh. 
Like Jthollywood said, this brought memories back. I think I lasted about 30 seconds myself on the first time.
Congrats... I would like to be the first one to welcome you to the man club.
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InternetTuffGuy |
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#74 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:38:17 PM
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PocketJacks |
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#75 Posted: 12/23/2007 11:52:36 PM If you are 19 and want to juice in a girl.... then you have more problems than posting on Covers. |
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