I was extremely bored this Friday night and didn't want to watch Netflix on my couch alone (even though Better Call Saul Season 2 episode 9 was on my to do list) so I figured I was going to call "Escort Gold" to alleviate this.
Now they sent this smoking hot chick named Rachel to which we met at one of my favorite restaurants. Of course she had to order the most expensive item on the menu but that didn't bother me because she was so damn fine. After some small talk about my pathetic life, I asked about hers. She went on saying she is currently in a serious relationship with a baseball player named Aaron who plays for the Yankees. I was like, "Thee Aaron Judge"? She nodded yes. She explained how she's been so lonely because of his travels and decided she would do this to fill the void during the long baseball season. I was thinking how I better not do anything stupid because I wouldn't want a hulking 6-6 man beating me down to a pulp.
During the conversation, she burst into tears. She confessed that she was also dating ol' Charlie Morton from the Astros and her man had found out about this. She said Aaron confronted Charlie before tonight's game and said he was going to break his right pitching arm. Charlie was seriously petrified and as a result, he made a deal with Aaron. He said, "I'm sorry Aaron. What can I do so you won't pulverize me. I need my right arm to make a living." Aaron responded, "You know what? I know we are winning this series tonight. But if we don't, since you're pitching Game 7, you are going to tank it. Not only are you going to tank it, you are going to serve me a straight fastball down the middle every time I'm up. Do it or else you'll never pitch again." Rachel then goes on and tells me that Charlie had pee'd all the way down to his stirrups trembling in fear. She said Charlie agreed and was hoping he gave up enough runs to be pulled by the 3rd.
The waiter then hands me the whopping bill for $356.84 for the meal. I asked Rachel if she wanted to go back to my place and watch Netflix. She said no, she was too upset. She then tells me she has to leave and her services will be $1000. She asked if I was mad. I shook my head. Instead, I was thinking, "Hell no! What a deal!" This date costed me $1,356.84 but this will be pennies on the dollar after tomorrow night's game.
I was extremely bored this Friday night and didn't want to watch Netflix on my couch alone (even though Better Call Saul Season 2 episode 9 was on my to do list) so I figured I was going to call "Escort Gold" to alleviate this.
Now they sent this smoking hot chick named Rachel to which we met at one of my favorite restaurants. Of course she had to order the most expensive item on the menu but that didn't bother me because she was so damn fine. After some small talk about my pathetic life, I asked about hers. She went on saying she is currently in a serious relationship with a baseball player named Aaron who plays for the Yankees. I was like, "Thee Aaron Judge"? She nodded yes. She explained how she's been so lonely because of his travels and decided she would do this to fill the void during the long baseball season. I was thinking how I better not do anything stupid because I wouldn't want a hulking 6-6 man beating me down to a pulp.
During the conversation, she burst into tears. She confessed that she was also dating ol' Charlie Morton from the Astros and her man had found out about this. She said Aaron confronted Charlie before tonight's game and said he was going to break his right pitching arm. Charlie was seriously petrified and as a result, he made a deal with Aaron. He said, "I'm sorry Aaron. What can I do so you won't pulverize me. I need my right arm to make a living." Aaron responded, "You know what? I know we are winning this series tonight. But if we don't, since you're pitching Game 7, you are going to tank it. Not only are you going to tank it, you are going to serve me a straight fastball down the middle every time I'm up. Do it or else you'll never pitch again." Rachel then goes on and tells me that Charlie had pee'd all the way down to his stirrups trembling in fear. She said Charlie agreed and was hoping he gave up enough runs to be pulled by the 3rd.
The waiter then hands me the whopping bill for $356.84 for the meal. I asked Rachel if she wanted to go back to my place and watch Netflix. She said no, she was too upset. She then tells me she has to leave and her services will be $1000. She asked if I was mad. I shook my head. Instead, I was thinking, "Hell no! What a deal!" This date costed me $1,356.84 but this will be pennies on the dollar after tomorrow night's game.
.----.and then Charlie got abducted by aliens who shot some intragalactic steroid undetectable by humans into his arm giving him a fastball of 130 and 8 foot cutting sliders.
.----.and then Charlie got abducted by aliens who shot some intragalactic steroid undetectable by humans into his arm giving him a fastball of 130 and 8 foot cutting sliders.
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