Messages

from the communist Washington DC suburbs of northern Virginia:

AN UPDATE FROM BIRTHER CENTRAL:

GRAND POOBA:  Guess what followers, I've landed another A-1 guest.  Please welcome former President, Bill Clinton . . . . (a loud chorus of boos from the audience)

BILL:  Pooba, did my boo-vation last as long as Limbog's ovation?

POOBA:   It was close. Now Bill, you are from the South like me, why aren't you a Republican.

BILL:  Pooba, I've always believed in putting meat on the table for those in need.

POOBA:  Why did you have an affair with Monica?

BILL:  Pooba, I've alays believed in putting meat on the table for those in need . . . (everybody laughing).

POOBA:  Did Hillary ever get wind of what was going on?

BILL:  Nope, you see every operation that goes on in the White House has a code name so those that don't need to know wouldn't figure it out.

POOBA:  What was the code name for you and Monica's romps?

BILL:  "Secret Service".  Kind of cute, don't you think?

POOBA:  Eventually it did leak out in the press.  What happened when you confronted Hillary.

BILL:  I felt her pain.  Think of a Tasmanian Devil and Bride of Frankenstein all wrapped up into one.

POOBA:  I read your unauthorized biography.  It mentioned that in your younger days you had asto-turf in the back of your pick-up.  Was that for golf putting?

BILL:  Yeah Pooba, I must have made a thousand eagles in the back of my pick-up!! (everybody laughing).

POOBA:  Now let's get serious here Bill, during the Vietnam War, you protested, grew long hair.  And worst yet, you avoided going to combat.  Why?

BILL:  I wanted to beef up my credentials on becoming President.

POOBA:  Now President Clinton, you will never go through another campaign, you are no longer in office, can you answer this question truthfully?  Did you inhale?

BILL:  Oh hell yes!  I had the biggest bong this side of the Mississipi!  Kona Gold, Thai Stick, you name it, I smoked it.

POOBA:  Wasn't it during these years you met Hillary?  You must have been somewhat attracted to her.

BILL:  I must have been buzzed.

POOBA:  Final question:  Bill do you think you will ever get to Mount Rushmore?

BILL:  It all depends what she looks like . . .

Adjourned.

you see, in order to assume nobody's reading it . . .

you must have read it.

what a fine politician you would make.

from the communist Washington DC suburbs of northern Virginia:

AN UPDATE FROM BIRTHER CENTRAL:

GRAND POOBA:  Followers, I've asked all the children to be removed from the audience, tonight is going to be a doozy.  According to the Fairness People we have to have a lefty on our show tonight, and tonight it doesn't get any more left than this guy.  Please welcome Al Sharpton . . . (a standing boo-vation from the audience).

AL:  Pooba, out of respect, I'm gonna shake your hand, even though I don't respect anything you say nor do I respect your cause.  I believe it's blatent racism against our beloved President.

POOBA:  Al, it sounds like you're holding something back.

AL:  Now look her Pooba, you have an agenda that is against my people . . .

POOBA:  Oh yeah, well you have an agenda that's against my people . . .

AL:  Oh yeah, well your mama is so racist that when she got on the bus she told me to go sit in the back . . .

POOBA:  Oh yeah, well your mama is so racist that when your sister was dating a white guy . . .

AGENT 210:  GENTLEMEN!  Um you're turning this into a circus!  Can you please go to the desert and coffee table over their and settle your differences in private?  Please? (Al and Pooba grudgingly go to the table and start talking to each other)

AL:  Pooba, why do you have that Confederate Flag hanging on the wall?  That is a slap in the face to me and millions of others . . .

POOBA:   Look Al, I don't show it to be disrespectful, it's just a sign of my heritage.  I'm from the south and  we southerners are different than those northerners.

AL:  But the South stood for slavery . . .

POOBA:  And that was totally wrong!  I am not proud of that part of my heritage, but I am proud of other parts, Al those are my family we're talking about.  Look last night, Alabama won the College National Championship over another southern school.  I'm proud of that . . .

AL:  There you go, rooting for southern schools who once were segregated . . .

POOBA:  Segregated?  Did you know that both Alabama and LSU have some great African American players on the team and they are there because of their talent, not their skin color.

AL:  You really honest to God think that?

POOBA:  Yes, if fact I was rooting for that kid from Baylor to get the Heisman Trophy because of the way he dismantled Oklahoma.  He deserved it!

AL:  What about Obama?  You rip him apart daily . . .

POOBA:  And you ripped Bush apart daily, it's politics, not Church on Sunday.  You might find this hard to believe but on the night Obama won, not only was I happy for African Americans, but I was happy for our country.  We are so much better today than we were 50 years ago.  But once he started governing, I had to disagree with him, that's my political nature . . .

AL:  Well Pooba we talked and I guess we don't find each other as bad guys after all.  Hey these desserts were good too, I can't get enough of them.

POOBA:  I can see, now let's get up there and fight like cats and dogs about politics.  Our audience is depending on us to do that.

AL:  Deal, wow this is some good stuff, ask agent 210 where he got the desserts . . .

POOBA:  Well ladies and gentlemen, before Al and I get back to disagreeing, I want to ask agent 347 to take the Confederate Flag off of the wall.  Although it's a sign of my heritage, it's also a sign of anger for many of my fellow Americans.  Fold it up and put it away.  I'll keep it in a safe place as a piece of history.

AL:  Thank you Pooba, now fire away at me and don't hold anything back . . .

POOBA:  OK  Al, my next question is why are almost all MSNBC anchors in the tank for Obama?

AL:  Pooba?  We at MSNBC are journalists first!  I actually don't care if Obama wins re-election or not . . .

AGENT 210:  Here Al, use this a napkin.

AL:  What's that for?

AGENT 210:  You got Blueberry Pie all over your face . . .

adjourned