The Official MichaelPaul Joke thread...

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Author: [Penalty Box] Topic: The Official MichaelPaul Joke thread...
wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#126
Posted: 5/12/2012 2:52:19 PM
MichaelPaul  was standing next to two people on the corner when one of them suddenly turned to the other and said, "I know this sounds crazy, but I can smell juice!"

"Take it easy," replied MichaelPaul, "I just burped!"
AustinHoopDream PM AustinHoopDream
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quote#127
Posted: 5/12/2012 2:53:53 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by wmi799:

MichaelPaul  was standing next to two people on the corner when one of them suddenly turned to the other and said, "I know this sounds crazy, but I can smell juice!"

"Take it easy," replied MichaelPaul, "I just burped!"

wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#128
Posted: 5/12/2012 2:58:52 PM
Two women and MichaelPaul are riding in an elevator. 

One woman notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a juice stain!"

The other leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a juice stain too!" 

MichaelPaul leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."
DaBestEver24 PM DaBestEver24
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quote#129
Posted: 5/14/2012 2:41:10 AM
Iw1nBets PM Iw1nBets
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quote#130
Posted: 5/14/2012 4:26:49 AM
darn wmi I cant lie those are some funny behind happy jokes I havent heard b4 
Iw1nBets PM Iw1nBets
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quote#131
Posted: 5/14/2012 4:27:29 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by wmi799:

One day MichaelPaul goes in for his doctor's appointment and asks the doctor, "Do you have anything to make hair grow on my chest?"

The doctor immediately grabs a jar of Vaseline and says, "if you get a friend to rub this on your chest everyday, within a month or two you'll start to see some growth."

MichaelPaul  replies, "Well if that was true, I'd have a pony tail coming out my behind!"


one of the funniest happy joke/punch lines I ever heard 
Theone324 PM Theone324
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quote#132
Posted: 5/14/2012 6:32:09 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by wmi799:

Two women and MichaelPaul are riding in an elevator. 

One woman notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a juice stain!"

The other leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a juice stain too!" 

MichaelPaul leans over and licks the spot on the elevator wall, then says, "Yep, but it's nobody from this building."

michaelpaul1 PM michaelpaul1
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quote#133
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:55:33 AM
wmi...stop molesting your stepkids...
michaelpaul1 PM michaelpaul1
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quote#134
Posted: 5/14/2012 10:58:49 AM
wmi turns around as ahd is drilling for oil and open's his mouth in anticipation...all of a sudden his wife opens the door and pulls out her cock and blows a load on his back...
wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#135
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:34:23 AM

MichaelPaul walks into a bar and asks for 13 margaritas. The bartender abruptly replies, "Wow sir, that sure is a lot, whats the occasion?"

MichaelPaul sits down on a stool, hangs his head and tells the curious bartender, "Well, my first blow job." The bartender smiles and replies, "Yea, that's a splendid occasion indeed. Let me get you one more drink, on the house!"

"Nah," the MichaelPaul replies... "If thirteen doesn't get the taste out, nothing will."


michaelpaul1 PM michaelpaul1
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quote#136
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:44:56 AM
where's the old creepy avatar molestor?
wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#137
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:47:12 AM

MichaelPaul paid a visit to his doctor and confided that
he had a vibrator stuck up his behind. "Let me have
a look," said the doctor reassuringly. "I'll
have it out in no time."


"Oh doctor, please don't do that," said MichaelPaul.
"What the hell do you want me to do?" asked the
doctor.

"Change the batteries, please." MichaelPaul replied.

wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#138
Posted: 5/14/2012 11:49:29 AM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by michaelpaul1:

where's the old creepy avatar molestor?

Who you talking to internet tough guy?? Can't be me as this is same one since day one.

You love it here, so you can act so tough. Have you ever tried to leave the double wide? Does your mom let out or do you need to hang and help fluff the johns? We know if you ever did go out and acted the way you did, you'd get the garbage kicked out of you.

michaelpaul1 PM michaelpaul1
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quote#139
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:03:21 PM
wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#140
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:17:37 PM
MichaelPaul and his buddy were in the woods hunting. MichaelPaul looked at him  and said, "I've gotta take a crap." 

His buddy said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap."
MichaelPaul  one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my behind."

His buddy replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"

MichaelPaul  said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea! I'll use that!"

MichaelPaul  left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.

His buddy looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened?"
MichaelPaul  replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your behind with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"
Theone324 PM Theone324
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quote#141
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:23:01 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by wmi799:

MichaelPaul walks into a bar and asks for 13 margaritas. The bartender abruptly replies, "Wow sir, that sure is a lot, whats the occasion?"

MichaelPaul sits down on a stool, hangs his head and tells the curious bartender, "Well, my first blow job." The bartender smiles and replies, "Yea, that's a splendid occasion indeed. Let me get you one more drink, on the house!"

"Nah," the MichaelPaul replies... "If thirteen doesn't get the taste out, nothing will."


 

Theone324 PM Theone324
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quote#142
Posted: 5/14/2012 12:23:33 PM
QUOTE Originally Posted by wmi799:

MichaelPaul paid a visit to his doctor and confided that
he had a vibrator stuck up his behind. "Let me have
a look," said the doctor reassuringly. "I'll
have it out in no time."


"Oh doctor, please don't do that," said MichaelPaul.
"What the hell do you want me to do?" asked the
doctor.

"Change the batteries, please." MichaelPaul replied.

 

wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#143
Posted: 5/15/2012 8:13:13 AM

MichaelPaul pick-up lines when he goes out cruisng for the boys:

"Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?"

"Are you a burger cuz you can be the meat between my buns"

"You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?"

"I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you."

"My name is MichaelPaul... remember that, you'll be screaming it later."

"Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package."

"You would be perfect for this movie I'm shooting its called "Dirty Sanchez""

"Nice behind... what time does it open?"

"Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"I hope you're not a vegetarian... cuz I want to feed you some meat!"

"You remind me of a Twinkie. Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth."

25INSANESULLY PM 25INSANESULLY
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quote#144
Posted: 5/15/2012 8:56:05 AM

Hey WMI and AUSTIN,  Just wanted to stop by and say the 2 of you subhuman pieces of dog garbage have nothing better to do in your no life living trailers and projects that the 2 of you have to always pick on michaelpaul.......well guess what leave and get a friggin life you tools.......THEONE your another one you friggin girl, all 3 of you girl need to grow the darn up.......So that being said I really could care less what you girls are going to come back and say, because really in real life you girls are really nothing to society.......trust me get a friggin life......why don't you girls man up or girl up and get together and  each other off........you girls are really friggin getting old with your same old bullshit everday day in and day out.......I am sure you girls know about in and out, you bunch of ...so leave girl...........That's for you Michaelpaul....darn these douchbags.........

wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#145
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:05:14 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by 25INSANESULLY:

Hey WMI and AUSTIN,  Just wanted to stop by and say the 2 of you subhuman pieces of dog garbage have nothing better to do in your no life living trailers and projects that the 2 of you have to always pick on michaelpaul.......well guess what leave and get a friggin life you tools.......THEONE your another one you friggin girl, all 3 of you girl need to grow the darn up.......So that being said I really could care less what you girls are going to come back and say, because really in real life you girls are really nothing to society.......trust me get a friggin life......why don't you girls man up or girl up and get together and  each other off........you girls are really friggin getting old with your same old bullshit everday day in and day out.......I am sure you girls know about in and out, you bunch of ...so leave girl...........That's for you Michaelpaul....darn these douchbags.........

LOL! Sully supporting someone like MP1! Imagine that. It is amazing how you freaks stick together. Sully, you too post man sex/mommy sex post like MP1. LOL at same BS everyday, when MP1 and YOU do that.

On other words Sully. Go darn yourself. You losers are made for each other

tideman PM tideman
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quote#146
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:10:44 AM

How does michaelpaul remove his condom after he has finished having sex? 

He Farts

25INSANESULLY PM 25INSANESULLY
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quote#147
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:13:10 AM
JUST SICK AND TIRED OF YOU GIRLS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT THE SAME BULLSHIT EVERYDAY.......I MEAN YOU GIRLS NEED TO REALLY GROW THE darn UP......I COULD NOT IMAGINE YOU GIRLS HAVING A FAMILY AND BEING MARRIED BY THE WAY YOU GIRLS TALK ABOUT BULLSHIT ALL DAY LONG....HOLD DOWN  A FAMILY, HAVE SOME KIDS, GROW THE FUCKUP, AND MAYBE YOU GIRLS MIGHT ACTUALLY AMOUNT TO SOMETHING IN LIFE.....DO YOU UNDERSTAND FLEABAG..........YOUR garbage GETS OLD BRO.....REALLY TIME TO GROW UP girl.........HAVE AGREAT DAY....JUST SPEAKING FOR THE COMMUNITY YOU friggin DOUCHBAGS.......
wmi799 PM wmi799
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quote#148
Posted: 5/15/2012 9:39:29 AM
QUOTE

Originally Posted by 25INSANESULLY:

JUST SICK AND TIRED OF YOU GIRLS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT THE SAME BULLSHIT EVERYDAY.......I MEAN YOU GIRLS NEED TO REALLY GROW THE darn UP......I COULD NOT IMAGINE YOU GIRLS HAVING A FAMILY AND BEING MARRIED BY THE WAY YOU GIRLS TALK ABOUT BULLSHIT ALL DAY LONG....HOLD DOWN  A FAMILY, HAVE SOME KIDS, GROW THE FUCKUP, AND MAYBE YOU GIRLS MIGHT ACTUALLY AMOUNT TO SOMETHING IN LIFE.....DO YOU UNDERSTAND FLEABAG..........YOUR garbage GETS OLD BRO.....REALLY TIME TO GROW UP girl.........HAVE AGREAT DAY....JUST SPEAKING FOR THE COMMUNITY YOU friggin DOUCHBAGS.......

Do you cut and paste each one of your post? You say the same stuff in each one of them. Have been doing that for months. Everyone you attack, it is the same garbage. Talk of stuff getting old? You have that market corned. Relax, your buddy MP1 is okay. Get your panties out of the bunch you got them in. Maybe you and MP1 can meet up and enjoy each other the only way two guys like you can.

Now get out today and enjoy the weather. I am sure your parents would appreciate it and who knows, maybe you can go to the park and find a friend?

gilligansisland PM gilligansisland
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quote#149
Posted: 5/15/2012 10:21:53 AM
This crap is old and I'm not sticking up for anyone.These happy internet jokes with MichealPaul's name thrown in day after day have run their course.
Theone324 PM Theone324
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quote#150
Posted: 5/15/2012 10:29:48 AM
QUOTE Originally Posted by tideman:

How does michaelpaul remove his condom after he has finished having sex? 

He Farts




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