First off, I want to apologize to all those people I have pissed off over the years.
I have become a bitter person over the years, and have taken it out on many of you.
I don't want to get into everything too much, but, suffice it to say that I have demons in my past that have come out too much since my retirement from the Feds.
A few years ago I was involved in an on job "incident" that brought up too many bad memories from my childhood, and I started to act more like an asshole after that incident.
I have to thank CD and Staln for really hitting close to home with the "freak", "incest" and " horrible childhood and probably got teased and beat up alot, which caused him to become so nasty in society toward people" comments
The truth is, there was no incest, but I was molested. The molestation took place over a number of years, and I don't know if my parents turned their heads, or didn't know about it.
When I finally spoke out, MY PARENTS BLAMED ME !!!!
The accusations got out, and the town all found out. I was teased, but thankfully was always one of the bigger kids, so I was able to fight back.
I did become introverted though.
Some of CDs profile is dead on, other parts WAY OFF....
I had some counseling, and was able to turn things around the last few years of High School.
I did go to college, and was able to get into police work.
I worked as a local, and then for the feds, but in 2007, I was involved undercover where I was a witness to child abuse. I couldn't blow the case, so I had to continue to play my part, but old memories resurfaced.
I started drinking too much, I fought a lot, I became an asshole ( this almost helped my undercover story, because I was playing a bad guy )
That was the last undercover I was involved with, and I retired last year.
Since then bad memories are resurfacing and some of these case are still coming to court.
I can't get away from dark thoughts, and feel that I am a molester, because I allowed the abuse to continue both in my childhood, and in the undercover case.
Bottom line, I don't like who I am right now, and I need to seek help.
I am thankful for a good retirement package that allows me to get some good treatment for my mental illness.
I am depressed and have begun to drink too much, and have had nightmares lately about everything. On a few occasions, I thought about eating my gun.
Instead, I decided to seek counseling, and stay away from things that "make me mean" That includes covers.
I apologize for all the bad things I have said and done, and I hope the mods will let this stay in politics, because that is where I have done my most damage.
I also hope the mods will allow people to bash away at me, I think I owe people that "payback"
So, thanks you to the friends I have made, and to my haters, you get what you want... you get me saying goodbye, you get to kick me while I am down, you get to see a disgraced humbled person who has hit rock bottom
First off, I want to apologize to all those people I have pissed off over the years.
I have become a bitter person over the years, and have taken it out on many of you.
I don't want to get into everything too much, but, suffice it to say that I have demons in my past that have come out too much since my retirement from the Feds.
A few years ago I was involved in an on job "incident" that brought up too many bad memories from my childhood, and I started to act more like an asshole after that incident.
I have to thank CD and Staln for really hitting close to home with the "freak", "incest" and " horrible childhood and probably got teased and beat up alot, which caused him to become so nasty in society toward people" comments
The truth is, there was no incest, but I was molested. The molestation took place over a number of years, and I don't know if my parents turned their heads, or didn't know about it.
When I finally spoke out, MY PARENTS BLAMED ME !!!!
The accusations got out, and the town all found out. I was teased, but thankfully was always one of the bigger kids, so I was able to fight back.
I did become introverted though.
Some of CDs profile is dead on, other parts WAY OFF....
I had some counseling, and was able to turn things around the last few years of High School.
I did go to college, and was able to get into police work.
I worked as a local, and then for the feds, but in 2007, I was involved undercover where I was a witness to child abuse. I couldn't blow the case, so I had to continue to play my part, but old memories resurfaced.
I started drinking too much, I fought a lot, I became an asshole ( this almost helped my undercover story, because I was playing a bad guy )
That was the last undercover I was involved with, and I retired last year.
Since then bad memories are resurfacing and some of these case are still coming to court.
I can't get away from dark thoughts, and feel that I am a molester, because I allowed the abuse to continue both in my childhood, and in the undercover case.
Bottom line, I don't like who I am right now, and I need to seek help.
I am thankful for a good retirement package that allows me to get some good treatment for my mental illness.
I am depressed and have begun to drink too much, and have had nightmares lately about everything. On a few occasions, I thought about eating my gun.
Instead, I decided to seek counseling, and stay away from things that "make me mean" That includes covers.
I apologize for all the bad things I have said and done, and I hope the mods will let this stay in politics, because that is where I have done my most damage.
I also hope the mods will allow people to bash away at me, I think I owe people that "payback"
So, thanks you to the friends I have made, and to my haters, you get what you want... you get me saying goodbye, you get to kick me while I am down, you get to see a disgraced humbled person who has hit rock bottom
I hate to see anyone go. I mean there is a reason why we all are somewhat compelled to check this forum and taste other peoples viewpoints.
There is nothing wrong with healthy debate. The problem is that too many people are quick to utilize name calling and label people as not being smart just because they don't agree with your viewpoint.
Its too bad that for the last few weeks it didn't matter what you posted, even if it was good food for thaught. Certain people would just accuse you of being an alias and essentially send the subject off topic. its a dam shame.
I really would hate to see you or anyone go. And props to you for laying it all out there and recognizing what makes you feel better or worse. I took a break from covers for a couple of years and I never really considered your posts to be that radicle as some of the other guys.
I hope you don't go. I hope I'm not the only one with the balls to say it.
I hate to see anyone go. I mean there is a reason why we all are somewhat compelled to check this forum and taste other peoples viewpoints.
There is nothing wrong with healthy debate. The problem is that too many people are quick to utilize name calling and label people as not being smart just because they don't agree with your viewpoint.
Its too bad that for the last few weeks it didn't matter what you posted, even if it was good food for thaught. Certain people would just accuse you of being an alias and essentially send the subject off topic. its a dam shame.
I really would hate to see you or anyone go. And props to you for laying it all out there and recognizing what makes you feel better or worse. I took a break from covers for a couple of years and I never really considered your posts to be that radicle as some of the other guys.
I hope you don't go. I hope I'm not the only one with the balls to say it.
i am neither friend nor enemy 5 and found you too extreme and childish for my taste even though i frequently agreed with your viewpoints.. now i am going to be a friend. if you are serious here and it seems genuine to me, i suggest that you absolutely get further help. please cut down slowly on the drinking and quit within a week or two. please get some exercise every day and eat well. please avoid talk radio and right wing tv. they will drive you crazy, i was there many years ago and recovered. i have had horrible times that lasted years with the most gut wrenching divorce you can think of with little kids in the custody battle from hell. i dont really know how i survived but did. i am positive you have good qualities and need to bring them out in yourself. yes, fighting about politics is something that wont bring out your goodness. smart move. you cant make a difference there anyway. contribute to the world in some fashion that affirms your existence as a good person. positive thoughts breed a more positive existence. do your best and forget the rest
i am neither friend nor enemy 5 and found you too extreme and childish for my taste even though i frequently agreed with your viewpoints.. now i am going to be a friend. if you are serious here and it seems genuine to me, i suggest that you absolutely get further help. please cut down slowly on the drinking and quit within a week or two. please get some exercise every day and eat well. please avoid talk radio and right wing tv. they will drive you crazy, i was there many years ago and recovered. i have had horrible times that lasted years with the most gut wrenching divorce you can think of with little kids in the custody battle from hell. i dont really know how i survived but did. i am positive you have good qualities and need to bring them out in yourself. yes, fighting about politics is something that wont bring out your goodness. smart move. you cant make a difference there anyway. contribute to the world in some fashion that affirms your existence as a good person. positive thoughts breed a more positive existence. do your best and forget the rest
5 just pmed and said i should defulge his secret identity.............5 is a congressman and is tired of mr wallstreet rederick on here and is going to have the irs look into mr wallstreets affairs...................
5 just pmed and said i should defulge his secret identity.............5 is a congressman and is tired of mr wallstreet rederick on here and is going to have the irs look into mr wallstreets affairs...................
mr wallstreet i am a fan of the az............scottsdale area mostly.................there is a otb on mill in tempe where i use to do trot betting and lick salt off girls chests ................good times mr wallstreet ..good times
mr wallstreet i am a fan of the az............scottsdale area mostly.................there is a otb on mill in tempe where i use to do trot betting and lick salt off girls chests ................good times mr wallstreet ..good times
Abusing children has to be the most heinous of acts. I believe children are what God is most proudest of (innocence), this includes brainwashing them with hatred as well as other types of abuse. People that abuse them and continue the cycle will eventually meet their maker.
Good Luck to you 5, I don't remember being offended by your posts. Just a little excessive and over the top when you'd fill the screen with only your topics.
Abusing children has to be the most heinous of acts. I believe children are what God is most proudest of (innocence), this includes brainwashing them with hatred as well as other types of abuse. People that abuse them and continue the cycle will eventually meet their maker.
Good Luck to you 5, I don't remember being offended by your posts. Just a little excessive and over the top when you'd fill the screen with only your topics.
mr wallstreet i am a fan of the az............scottsdale area mostly.................there is a otb on mill in tempe where i use to do trot betting and lick salt off girls chests ................good times mr wallstreet ..good times
mr wallstreet i am a fan of the az............scottsdale area mostly.................there is a otb on mill in tempe where i use to do trot betting and lick salt off girls chests ................good times mr wallstreet ..good times
doggie bone stories wouldnt be very good do you think ...................tough day on the markey eh...........tomrrow friday it will go up/...............heres a real question for you since u are in th giving mood.............why do investors only buy at high prices..........like people wont by goldman at 58 but they will buy it at 158? i bought alot of ford(1), wynn(23), goldman(58) and apple(78) and cat(38) and us steel(18) and people thought i was fucking crazy ...please explain this to me, real question by the way
doggie bone stories wouldnt be very good do you think ...................tough day on the markey eh...........tomrrow friday it will go up/...............heres a real question for you since u are in th giving mood.............why do investors only buy at high prices..........like people wont by goldman at 58 but they will buy it at 158? i bought alot of ford(1), wynn(23), goldman(58) and apple(78) and cat(38) and us steel(18) and people thought i was fucking crazy ...please explain this to me, real question by the way
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