My good friend Justin is the worst sports bettor in the history of sports betting. He doesn’t know it, though. When he loses a bet, he Hulks up and goes mental like Meatloaf on Celebrity Apprentice.
When I cap games, like last week’s Men’s and Women’s NCAA National Championships, I take into consideration the usual statistics such as offensive efficiency, defensive efficiency, rebounds, turnovers, field goal percentage, who Justin is betting.
Yes, that’s right, who Justin is betting is one of my categories.
It’s a very delicate situation. I can’t let him overtly know that I’m trying to figure out which side he’s on, only to fade him because he’ll shut down due to his large ego and stop feeding me his angles. The fact that I’m a female wouldn’t help his situation either. I usually have to 007 my way to get this crucial information.
This year, it took a grilled sandwich, the movie Unstoppable
, Chauncey The Bear, and a gloomy Oregon day to extract the information. If I told you the intricacies of the story, I’d have to kill you.
The void of the end of college basketball is filled with the beginning of MLB. The start of the season provides me with plenty to do, especially when I have to pair my handicapping workload with midterms.
My strategy in baseball is grueling, since I specifically watch every game of at least one team in each division for the entire season. This gives me a barometer in order to compare and contrast all 30 teams. This strategy takes a lot of discipline, coffee, and DVR space.
The positive of this system is profiting on MLB throughout the season, with the ability to view so many games. The negative of using this system is having arguments with my roommates about how their latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians
got deleted. I also wind up doing biology assignments until 3 a.m.
Since I spend so much time in the spring and summer watching baseball, I often get asked, “How is it different being a female sports bettor in comparison to a male sports bettor?”.
I swore I would never give out these secrets, but it’s time I let the cat out of the bag:
- Moneyline favorites are all EVEN money. That’s right. When the books are charging men -250 for a favorite on the moneyline, they are offering women -100 straight across the board. It's Ladies Night every night.
- I have the option to cancel my wagers up until two minutes left in a game. If it’s looking bad coming down the stretch, I can make a call and have the action canceled. No questions asked.
- I can ask for a mulligan if I end up with losing wagers. The books will give me my money back if I decide I don’t want to have a losing day. But just one a day - cheapskates.
With all of these extra incentives, no wonder it’s so easy being a female sports bettor!Til next time, cover the spread.